Not Having a Good Day

I am a damaged monkey. I've got bald patches, burn marks and a lot of nervous tics. I tend to screech a lot, masturbate compulsively, rock back and forth and fling poo when threatened. At best, I'm jumpy and my eyes tend to bug out. At worst, I'm a swirling vortex of teeth, hair, yowl and angst. I have an unfortunate tendency to scratch myself bloody.